I think I'm in love with Ian Bonar.

Anyway, detailed below are my thoughts re: GOING POSTAL: THE MOVIE in the form of word vomit.

read on )

:/ In other fandom-related news, I sat myself down with a transcript of Silence in the Library and imagined my way through a few scenes with everything as is, except that Jane Seymour was playing River Song. ...I liked it rather better.

It's 2am, so I'll leave it there or you'll get a rant you really don't want.
15 January 2006 @ 05:49 pm
Title: Serenity
Dir.: Joss Whedon
Starring: Nathan Fillion, Summer Glau
Rated: PG-13, for icky nasty zombie-thingies and Adam Baldwin's dirty mouth.

a world without sin )

So... that was an unnecessarily long romp through my mind. Aren't you glad it's done?
Current Music: still Chess... it's like it never STOPS...
Current Mood: blah
15 January 2006 @ 12:16 pm
Title: Casanova
Dir.: Lasse Hallstrom
Starring: Heath Ledger, Sienna Miller
Rated: R, although I'm not sure why

one step closer to heaven )

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Famous Alchemist.

Where You Lived: Scotland.

How You Died: Decapitation.

Ah, decapitated by marauding hordes. The lives I lead...
Current Music: Chess
Current Mood: accomplished
18 December 2005 @ 09:50 pm
Title: Once Upon a Mattress
Dir.: Kathleen Marshall
Starring: Carol Burnett, Tracy Ullman
Rated: my guess... PG for belting princesses and premarital sex

my kingdom, my castle, my crown )
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: Forbidden Broadway: "Gagtime"
30 November 2005 @ 11:41 am
Title: Rent
Dir.: Chris Columbus
Staring: Adam Pascal, Rosario Dawson
Rated: PG-13, for sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll!

seasons of love )
Current Music: Evita (with Antonio)
Current Mood: determined
20 November 2005 @ 04:57 pm
Title: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Dir.: Mike Newell
Starring: Daniel Radcliff, Emma Watson
Rated: PG-13, for some fancy name meaning "Harry gets blood on him ooooh eeeeek"

on the bones of my father )

Whew. That was long, wasn't it?
Now off to do work!
Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: Pity the Child
08 October 2005 @ 07:32 pm
Title: Oliver Twist
Dir.: Roman Polanski
Starring: Barney Clark & Ben Kingsley
Rated: PG-13 (probably for people killing other people in nasty ways)

I'd warn about spoilers, but if you don't know the story of Oliver Twist, you need to see somebody with a lot of special initials after their name.
previews )
you brought the devil in to visit )
Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: Miss Saigon OLC
08 September 2005 @ 06:18 pm
Title: The Constant Gardener
Dir: Fernando Meirelles
Starring: Ralf Feinnes & Rachel Weisz
Rated: R (probably for nudity, drugs, violence, having a theme, and Ralf Fiennes' dirty mouth)

nothing grows in concrete )
Current Music: Aida
Current Mood: bored
14 July 2005 @ 10:58 am
Quote of the Moment:
"Hell is truth seen too late. Oh snap, my child."
~the wise and kindly high priest

As per Lady U's request, I am writing a really long lj post, complete with all the useless, strange, utterly pointless stuff that's running around in my head.

First things first: the dehumidifier in my basement makes a lot of noise.

Second thing that should really be first: shameless marketing:
Go and buy, my children.

But other than that...
random Alias thoughts )
On to the reason my lj exists:
Movie reviews!

In this post:

Previews )
Bewitched (chick flick) )
Batman Begins (not a chick flick) )
War of the Worlds (silly Tom Cruise) )
Sad Cypress (yay for low-budget murder mysteries!) )

On to the Alias stuff!

A very dark path I am being led down... Sloane/Nadia is BAD! BAD! BAD! DON'T SHIP IT! IT'S WRONG!

Other than That:

my responses to the S4 Fan Choice Awards )

So yes, there you have it.
My left eye is slightly swollen from my allergies. Yipee. Hopefully it will be better very shortly. The bump on my head has healed, but now my stomach and left arm are bruised and scratched from a big evil dog. Really evil dog. Evil incarnate.
Last night, I sat through one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. No, not ONE of... THE worst movie.

Destroy All Monsters )
Anyway, this post is officially twelve pages longer than my Hitchhiker’s rant, which was ridiculously long. Lady U, I hope it was long enough for you!

I leave you with some parting words:

Parting word #1: Aida! Aida! Aida! Aida! Aida! Evita! Evita! guys! wait! huh? what? shhhhh! Aida! Aida! Aida! Aida!

Parting words #2: if you want to ship an Alias ship, ship a healthy ship like Sark/Irina or Vaughn/Jack. Do not go near Nadia/Sloane. I walk a dark path...

Parting words #3: What was wrong with the red one? ~Sydney Bristow gets mad
Current Mood: allergic and bruised
Current Music: Oh What a Circus!
30 April 2005 @ 06:55 pm
Title: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Dir.: Garth Jennings
Starring: Martin Freeman, Mos Def
Rated: PG, for general insanity, and naked!Sam Rockwell

The Chinchilla's Rant )
in my sad little blip of an existence )

All that having been said...
I don't know what else to say.

PS. I'm flattered that Lady U sends people who want to read a good review of Kung Fu Hustle to my lj, but I'm probably not going to say much about it either. It was bizarre. I've heard through channels that Americans don't get it and it probably shouldn't have been released in the US at all. This explains a lot. I enjoyed it, mostly, but it was really weird and no, I didn't really understand it. So there. That's all I've got to say. Sorry, Lady U.
PPS. Bring on the Restaurant at the End of the Universe!!!
Current Mood: nerdy - like Trillian
Current Music: So long, and thanks for all the fish!
I promised Lady U that I would see "The Interpreter" just to annoy her. So opening day, I go to the theater, buy a ticket, sit down, remember that I forgot to buy popcorn, get up, buy popcorn, sit back down, wait until 1:30 for the 1:20 showing to begin, sit through some previews, very few of them worthwhile, and finally get to watch the actual movie.

The Interpreter )

Closing remarks:
~after seeing this movie, I realized what look Nadia was going for last night: a Stepford wife! (the connection made sense in my head)
~I read Timeline the book, and have decided that there were two scenes that v. much should have been in the movie but weren't: 1) Chris falling off the waterfall 'cause that would have been massively amusing, and 2) Kate's fight with de Malegrant on the rafters of the Great Hall 'cause that would have been massively cool, and given Kate something to actually do
~HHG! 7 days! Rock on!
~SWIII... Natalie Portman will DIE! Mwahahahahahahaha!


PS. Do you hear the people sing?
Current Music: Les Mis "And although I know that he is bliiiiiiind..."
Current Mood: silly mouse :)

I'm just going to run through the things that I said I would in last post (or whatever post it was): Amelie, Silence of the Lambs, and Shaun of the Dead.


reviews )


As for new movies:

Well, these aren't all movies, but...

Lost and Alias )

As for actual movies:

SW and H2G2 )


So this entire post was pointless ramblings. That's ok. It's Easter morning and I'm bored. Maybe I should go and make waffles. But after I ate the waffles I'd be bored again. Hmmmmm.... maybe I'll go to Mexico...

Current Mood: this is a strange mouse...
Current Music: "Super-frantic hyper-active self-indulgent Mandy"
13 February 2005 @ 10:36 pm

So I magically discovered that "Neverwhere" is not only a bloody brilliant novel, but also a British Cult Miniseries as well. :) It made me happy.


Anyway, Enter If Ye Dare: Here Be Spoilers...


Neverwhere the Miniseries )

Wasn't that fun?

PS. Notice, Lady U, the amazing, exciting, wonderful, new icon. HINT. HINT.














Current Music: Martin Guerre; "Soon, there was no turning back!"
Current Mood: drained
26 December 2004 @ 08:36 pm
Title: The Phantom of the Opera
Dir.: Joel Schumacher
Starring: Emmy Rossum, Gerard Butler
Rated: PG-13, 'cause that Phantom likes his sex there, inside my mind )

PS. Lady U, do you know what time it is? Time to get a new icon!!!!!
Current Mood: cold
Current Music: "Phantom of the Opera" - the movie :)
01 October 2004 @ 09:35 pm

Title: Underworld

Dir.: Len Wiseman

Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman

Rated: R, 'cause Bill Nighy gets his head cut in half...

we would become obsolete... )

Current Mood: thirsty. I need cough syrup.
Current Music: Evita. again. why?
03 September 2004 @ 06:39 pm
Title: Urban Legend
Dir.: Jamie Blanks
Starring: Alicia Witt, Jared Leto
Rated: R, 'cause loads of people die
you know the story... )

That was fun, wasn't it?

...just smile and nod.
Current Music: "Waking Ned Devine" crazy Irish music!
Current Mood: weird
Title: Hellboy
Dir.: Guillermo del Torro
Starring: Ron Perlman, Selma Blair
Rated: PG-13, 'cause everything is
I call him 'son' )

Title: The Village
Dir.: M. Night Shyamalan
Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Bryce Dallas Howard
Rated: PG-13, duh
why must you lead when I want to lead? )

I now turn you over to what I wrote a month or two ago... here it is:

Title: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Dir.: Alfonso Cuaron
Starring: Daniel Radcliff, Emma Watson
Rated: PG (the only thing that is...)
he was their friend, and he betrayed them... )

Title: Shrek2
Dir.: Andrew Adamson
Starring: Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy
Rated: PG (oh... well... one other thing...)
once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away... )

Title: The Stepford Wives
Dir.: Frank Oz
Starring: Nicole Kidman, Matthew Broderick
Rated: PG-13
where would nobody notice a town full of robots...? )

Title: Timeline
Dir.: Richard Donner
Starring: Paul Walker, Frances O'Conner
Rated: PG-13
je suis espion )

signing off for now,
~the Mystical Chinchilla
Current Music: Assassins: Broadway Cast (*squee*)
Current Mood: stressed
17 May 2004 @ 05:54 pm
Title: Van Helsing
Dir.: Stephen Sommers
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale
Rated: PG-13, for violent CGI

the brighter side of death )

How many times did I use the word “pretty” in this review?

signing off for now,
~the Mystical Chinchilla
Current Mood: quixotic
Current Music: "Waking Ned Devine" - aka Crazy Irish Music! :)
Title: The Lord of the Rings: the Return of the King
Dir.: Peter Jackson
Starring: Elijah Wood, Viggo Mortenson
Rated: PG-13, for men in prosthetics getting their heads chopped off

WARNING: spoilerific! This review is only for those of you who have a) seen the movie, or b) those of you who haven't seen the movie and don't care about spoilers.

an hour of wolves and shattered shields )
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: "Bring Him Home" from Les Miserables
Okay, I've finally been blackmailed into posting on this thing. Usually, I'm too lazy. So I'm gonna start with a bang and bore you all to death with a probably long-winded review of "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen."

Ahem. Before I begin, I must first complain to a certain somebody out there (you know who you are) who attempted to kidnap me for a rather sketchy celebration of a rather sketchy holiday called Djibouti (sp?) Day. I refused to go, seeing as I was too busy eating ice cream at the time.

Anyway, on with the review:

Title: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Dir.: Stephen Norrington
Starring: Sean Connery, Richard Roxburgh
Rated: PG-13, for nasty shit

damned unsporting - probably Belgian )

The movie review is over folks! You can either breathe a sigh of relief or go home, depending on what you were here for. And since I can't find anything else to write, I might as well sign off for now.
Current Music: Jekyll&Hyde - the concept recording (Warlow... *drools*)
Current Mood: lethargic