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If anyone has missed out on the awesome that is Reefer Madness, you should go about rectifying that fact right now.
Alan Cumming, Kristen Bell, Shakespeare, and lots of pot. What could go wrong? It's an epic movie. There's even an Unexpected Chinese Guy. He sings and everything.
Alan Cumming narrates the following tragic tale that explicates the evils of marijuana.
Jimmy Harper (Christian Campbell) and Mary Lane (Kristen Bell) are happy, young, andhemorrhaging blood bubbling with love! But when Mary wants Jimmy to be her partner at an upcoming dance contest, Jimmy is heartbroken: he can't dance! He's accosted by a mysterious man named Jack (Steven Weber) at the local Five'n'Dime, who promises him swing dance lessons. But Jack gives him, not swing dance lessons, but... MARIJUANA!
Jesus sings a song to try to persuade Jimmy to not smoke the marijuana and take a hit of God instead, but He fails because the reefer is just too strong!
Jimmy quickly becomes an addict, but then one night he steals Mary's car, along with Sally The Pot Whore (Amy Spangler), and they run over an old homeless man because REEFER WILL MAKE YOU KILL HOMELESS PEOPLE! Jimmy, in a panic, returns the car to Mary's driveway, where he realizes that he loves... not Mary Jane, but Mary Lane, with an L, for LOVE!
But he must go on the run so the cops don't catch him. Mary goes looking for him and winds up at the REEFER DEN. One of the potheads, Ralph (John Kassir), gives her some reefer and she turns into a dominatrix because REEFER MAKES YOU SEXUALLY PROMISCUOUS AND LIKE LEATHER WAY TOO MUCH. Jimmy shows up trying to fight Jack and reclaim the innocence of the American youth, but in the confusion Jack shoots Mary. He frames Jimmy, who is sent to the electric chair because REEFER MAKES YOU A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR. Ralph goes crazy and eats Sally The Pot Whore because REEFER MAKES YOU A CANNIBAL. Jack kills him, too, but then Jack is murdered by Mae (Ana Gasteyer), his pot-addled moll, who has realizes that she must rescue Jimmy from the chair.
At the last second, FDR shows up to give Jimmy a personal reprieve, and Jimmy and Mae vow to go around the country preaching about the evils of reefer. Mary is released from Hell and goes to Heaven to wait for Jimmy with Vegas Jesus. Uncle Sam, George Washington, and Lady Liberty urge YOU to go forth and preach of the evils of reefer, too.
It's TOO EPIC FOR WORDS.
On the new ratings scale that Lady U and I came up with, known as the Lstar Scale, it rates a solid 0.5/5. But see, on this scale the lower the number, the better the movie is. This movie scores really damn low, meaning it's really damn awesome.
So yes. Go forth and watch.
Alan Cumming, Kristen Bell, Shakespeare, and lots of pot. What could go wrong? It's an epic movie. There's even an Unexpected Chinese Guy. He sings and everything.
Alan Cumming narrates the following tragic tale that explicates the evils of marijuana.
Jimmy Harper (Christian Campbell) and Mary Lane (Kristen Bell) are happy, young, and
Jesus sings a song to try to persuade Jimmy to not smoke the marijuana and take a hit of God instead, but He fails because the reefer is just too strong!
Jimmy quickly becomes an addict, but then one night he steals Mary's car, along with Sally The Pot Whore (Amy Spangler), and they run over an old homeless man because REEFER WILL MAKE YOU KILL HOMELESS PEOPLE! Jimmy, in a panic, returns the car to Mary's driveway, where he realizes that he loves... not Mary Jane, but Mary Lane, with an L, for LOVE!
But he must go on the run so the cops don't catch him. Mary goes looking for him and winds up at the REEFER DEN. One of the potheads, Ralph (John Kassir), gives her some reefer and she turns into a dominatrix because REEFER MAKES YOU SEXUALLY PROMISCUOUS AND LIKE LEATHER WAY TOO MUCH. Jimmy shows up trying to fight Jack and reclaim the innocence of the American youth, but in the confusion Jack shoots Mary. He frames Jimmy, who is sent to the electric chair because REEFER MAKES YOU A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR. Ralph goes crazy and eats Sally The Pot Whore because REEFER MAKES YOU A CANNIBAL. Jack kills him, too, but then Jack is murdered by Mae (Ana Gasteyer), his pot-addled moll, who has realizes that she must rescue Jimmy from the chair.
At the last second, FDR shows up to give Jimmy a personal reprieve, and Jimmy and Mae vow to go around the country preaching about the evils of reefer. Mary is released from Hell and goes to Heaven to wait for Jimmy with Vegas Jesus. Uncle Sam, George Washington, and Lady Liberty urge YOU to go forth and preach of the evils of reefer, too.
It's TOO EPIC FOR WORDS.
On the new ratings scale that Lady U and I came up with, known as the Lstar Scale, it rates a solid 0.5/5. But see, on this scale the lower the number, the better the movie is. This movie scores really damn low, meaning it's really damn awesome.
So yes. Go forth and watch.
Current Mood: 
amused
amusedCurrent Music: Little Mary Sunshine // Reefer Madness
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